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Keys for
Successful Dialogue |
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 | Write and dialogue in "prime time" when you are alert and
responsive. |
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| Concentrate on your spouse by eliminating distractions when you
write and when you dialogue. |
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| Dialogue is for the sharing of feelings. Avoid the temptation
to solve problems or reach a decision during dialogue. |
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| Don't worry about your grammar or spelling. Just share
yourself! |
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| Share your now feelings. Avoid "garbage dumping"
(bringing up old hurts). |
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| Share about yourself using "I" or "me" messages,
and avoid "you" messages. |
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| What your spouse wrote, not how much they wrote, is what is
important. |
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| Dialogue is the time for loving acceptance, not for critical judgments
or blaming (i.e. "you made me..." or "you didn’t..."). |
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| Listen actively while your spouse is sharing. Pay attention to
their non-verbal signals. |
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| Sharing your feelings is a gift to your spouse. Don't expect your
spouse to change because you shared your feelings. |
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| Spending the full dialogue time talking about and continuing to draw
out and explore the feeling about which you have written. |
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